It is not easy at the holidays to be going through a big life-changing event.  You have to take it in stride and keep your head up and keep your feet moving in the right direction.  It is not going to be easy for me at Thanksgiving this year because Alexa will be with her dad and not with me.  It is going to be hard since this will be my first holiday without her with me and being that it is the first holiday that I have not been with my ex.  I do not think that I will ever get used to the fact that now I only get to see Alexa for half her life now that I have to split time with her dad.  I am very lucky that Alexa does have a dad that wants to be her in life.  I hate to hear about all the children that only get to be with one of their parents because the other parent does not want to be in their life.  I do not and will not ever be able to understand that.  I made sure that when I left that I found a house a close as possible to my ex so that I could see my daughter whenever I wanted to.  Life is all about change and making the best of life as it comes it you.  You are in control of who you are and who you want to be.  I cannot say it enough how you are the only person in control of your life.  Only you have the power to change what path you take and the way your life turns out.  Life is too short to be bitter and unhappy.  It is really important to be with family and friends at the holidays and be thankful for all the wonderful things that you have in your life.  I love thanksgiving; it is the best holiday.  There is nothing that is expected and no gifts to give.  It is just time to be thankful.  So I hope that this holiday season you take a moment to take a step back and enjoy the beauty in a smile from you family, a hug from your children, or a kind word from a friend.  I also want to realize that there is always some less fortunate and please be thankful for all that you have.

What Other’s Think of Me is None of My Business!

  

In our last article, I shared with you that God placed upon my heart to speak to our readers about FEAR and how it affects our spirits, minds and ultimately the body. If you are reading this article, I recommend you go back and read Fear is the New F Word! prior reading this one. This is a four part series and this is article number two.

Well, let’s just delve right in, shall we?

If Fear of Not Being Enough is the root fear, then the plant must be next. This fear is labeled Fear of Not Being Loved/Accepted, or in other words, caring how others view you and seeking constant approval.

I’d like to break down for you how this fear plays out in the patterns from the root fear. Remember we talked about Control Dramas in part one? Let’s see how they play out as this fear that is rooted now shoots up above surface into a full-blown Tree. I am going to label this fear as the Tree Fear.

Control Dramas
Aloof vs Chase
Victim vs Victimizer
Rescuer (protector) vs Victim
Talker vs Listener 

FEAR OF NOT BEING LOVED/ACCEPTED

15,000 character choices are made each day. Can you believe that? 15,000. If this fear is present, every single one of those will be made to gain acceptance and approval from OTHERS. The person will allow himself to be viewed through other people’s eyes. All power and control is LOST when this occurs.

Thoughts will consist of:

What will people think if I do this? Wear this? Go here? Do that? Say this? Will I get attention? I want to share my thoughts and have someone say ‘YOU ARE SO RIGHT, I APPROVE’, just so I feel accepted. I love to share my opinions, but when others put them down, I may become withdrawn and feel defeated. I need reassurance from others that I am doing a good job. If someone picks on me, I seriously consider changing myself to fit his/her viewpoint or I lash out in anger and pride. I am ashamed to show my body because of what another might think. I go to church, and am glad other can see that. Sometimes I throw it in people’s face that ‘I DONT CARE’ what they think, just so they KNOW I do not, which is still really caring what they think. I put my feelings to the side often so I don’t upset another, even though it means I may be unhappy (but really what I am avoiding is the feeling of guilt by hurting another). I own ‘this & that’ so others view me as successful. If I lose this, then they will view me as a failure. I like showing off, because it gets me attention. I help others and want to make a difference, but deep down I hope I am told thank you so I can feel valued and accepted. I tend to hang around people with my same opinions. I judge myself and others based on belief systems and put them into categories. I have strong opinions and judgments about others, so they should care what I think and I cannot wait to share them all as often as possible. I may even make it into a career (i.e therapist). I feel valued if I am asked for advice. I hide things from my spouse or family or boss because I am afraid of what they may think. Honestly, I don’t think highly of myself, and I don’t think others could either, so I will do whatever it takes to be held in high esteem in someone’s eyes, anyone’s eyes will do at times. I will do everything to gain God’s acceptance and I feel unloved and disconnected if I don’t feel I have. If I don’t feel accepted and cared for, I feel empty….ETC.

The list goes on. Honestly, those thoughts just wore me out writing them. What a waste of time and energy! Right? I mean if we could cut out half of them, the mind would be quiet. Sometimes you are not even aware you even think them, they just flow through into words and actions before you can stop them! Programming. Patterns. ICKY ICK.

So let’s be clear.
*The fear of not being enough creates a perception and belief about oneself and then these thoughts pop up in the mind.
*The mind chooses one and then that thought becomes a word and action.
*That action becomes a habit then pattern.
*That pattern creates an identity.

i.e I am a Victim (I seek approval and live in shadows. I will be happy to find a prince charming to rescue me). I am a Victimizer (I love to give my approval to everyone living in my shadow and if they don’t get it, they are hurt). I am Aloof (those living in my shadow will chase me for attention. I may or may not give it to them). I am a Chaser/Interrogator (I will chase down those that are better than I am and do anything to get their attention and approval). I am a Protector/Rescuer (I will take it upon myself to help everyone around me and meddle according to what would make ME feel safe. And I will label my action ‘worry and care’). I Am a Talker (I have a lot of opinions to give so I need those around me who will listen and approve). I Am a Listener. (I am afraid to share my opinions, so I will attract in a Talker so I can gain their approval by being a great listener).

*That identity of the “I am” now creates a need for life experiences to be attracted in, in order for the pattern to remain.

My friends and countrymen, we now have an established belief structure. Until the perception is changed at the root, this pattern and the emotions it takes to run the pattern, will run this person’s outer life. The outer life will be non stop DRAMA. This person will end up with the same things happening over and over and over again and keep wondering “WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?” They might even say, ‘God knows the why. He knows all about it.” This person may even ask for answers, then miss the ones God is trying to point out because he is so distracted by judging everyone and everything around him and labeling them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. The answer is 100% of the time as much in the ‘bad’ as much as it is in the ‘good’ and he misses it because he does every thing in his power to avoid the ‘bad’. He hides, blames, justifies, sweeps it under the rug, and keeps creating control dramas. All so he can FEEL good and gain acceptance. He is addicted to how he feels, and will do anything to gain an experience, which can give him this feeling. All of that for one little emotion. Crazy, huh?

If one understands these concepts, it becomes very clear that virtually no one on earth is having ‘relationships’ with one another. It becomes very clear that their ‘patterns’ are having relationships with another person’s ‘patterns.’

For example:
A person who now has the belief structure of I AM A VICTIM must now have VICTIMIZERS come into their life experience so that the identity of I AM VICTIM can remain on track. Without a ‘victimizer’ in place, the ego identity of ‘victim’ cannot survive.

Therefore, all of the life is spent reacting to other people’s patterns and never truly having a relationship. These people will make statements such as “Marriage is work.” “I keep screwing up but that is part of life. I can just go gain forgiveness and move on.” “My job is exhausting.” “Hanging around ‘so-and-so’ is work.” “That person brings me down.” “Being around ‘so-and-so’ brings me up and inspires me.” etc.

None of these statements are Truth. They are all falsehood. Once the perception tied to these fears is removed, nothing is ever ‘work’. LIVING is not work. It never is. No person or experience outside of the Self could ever bring one down or raise them up. If one was ENOUGH, there would be no need for more or less. If one was enough, one would be full. Therefore no one could take away from that fullness or add to it. It is simply full. There would be no craving or desire, therefore no need for an experience to get that person anything at all. There is nothing to gain or lose. No approval to seek or find. etc.

Please observe how this Tree Fear plays out in your life and the life of those around you. Do not judge it. Simply observe.

Are you looking to gain acceptance and approval for decisions you are making right now? Do you follow the crowd and go into fear when a new ‘disease’ is announced from our government? Do you feel you are accepted and therefore safe as long as you are going along with the crowd and the general consensus? Do you put your trust in statements made by the government or the news resources simply because they are accepted by many? Are you asking everyone around you what they are doing about the crisis? Can you just not wait to give your opinion and advice about the swine flu or any other crisis to anyone who will sit still long enough to listen and feel important when they do? How are others playing on your fears? How are you being controlled by others playing on your fears? Do you feel free or controlled and manipulated? Is a train free or is it imprisoned on a track? Are you free or imprisoned by your patterns/tracks?

While we continue to look at these questions and the last two fears over the next two articles, remember what we learned from article one. To assist you with dealing with these fears and anxieties, Miracle Soap / Path To Perfect Health does offer products.

Part 2 of The Fear of not Being Enough

2. If the person believes he is not enough, he will simply give up in certain areas of the life experience or have a defeatist attitude of I DO NOT DESERVE, therefore a person will feel unworthy and live in fear of LOSS. Loss of attention, love, physical presence, grace, money, etc. Loss of God’s Love is the ultimate to this fear and behind that, loss of the love of a woman, partner or children and then his job. This will lead to chasing what one feels they can never really obtain, creating a need for someone/something to play the role of ‘Aloof’ or something to always seem just out of reach. Constant ‘Chasing’ and getting ‘hurt’ will be the motto for these experiences. Living in another’s shadow will be the way this person feels at times.

This leads to ‘I am a VICTIM of another persons actions toward me. And the way others feel and emote will affect MY emotions.’ This person perceives himself as THE ONE BEING CONTROLLED. Since this cannot survive in the body as truth, he will do everything in his power to turn the tables his way. He will grow jealous, spiteful, bitter and resentful. He either will run so as not to be controlled causing the Victimizer to chase him down or try and tear the controller down, ultimately switching control back to his favor. By attacking the Victimizer, he now plays the Victimizer role. How is that logically possible?

Fear turns to depression and shame. In order to avoid this, this person will grow angry and go to pride or simply stay there and remain a Victim and seek out attention for anyone who can understand his plight and seek an ultimate Rescuer.

The battle for control will now be in place and the game is on. A pattern is established between two parties and one cannot exist without the other.

This will lead to thoughts of “PEOPLE HURT ME, WHICH MAKES ME A VICTIM, WHICH MAKES ME FEEL WITHDRAWN AND AS IF I CANNOT TRUST OTHERS. I FEEL DEFEATED AND GLOOMY AND DEPRESSED AND UNWORTHY. I WILL NEVER MEASURE UP. EITHER I WILL NOT TRY OR I WILL GET ANGRY AND JEALOUS AND FORM A PLAN OF ATTACK.”

Whew. That little fear of not being enough sure created a lot of drama, huh? One little itty bitty fear, created all of that. It created Victim vs Victimizer. Aloof vs. Chase. These are called Control Dramas. Out of those, the Victimizer or the Victim will seek to rectify himself and find a Victim to rescue. This creates Rescuer vs. Victim or damsel in distress. Protector vs. those in need of protection. Talkers tend to be the more than enough and the listeners tend to be the less than enough. Talkers vs. Listeners. All of these little dramas are created out of this one little fear.

But don’t you see, each one cannot exist without the other.

How many people do you know who feel they are victims right now? Who do they blame as the Victimizer? The government? The spouse who did not save? The President? Do you feel you are being blamed and controlled? Are arguments creeping up in your household that you normally do not have? Are you anxious about getting more? Do you feel there will not be enough, because deep down you don’t feel you are enough?

Fear breeds stress, anxiety, labels, blame, guilt, self-righteousness, pride, etc. And all of this stored in the body weakens the immune system making it a target to ‘get sick.’ How many of you have been ‘sick’ lately? Do any of the scenarios above sound like a spirit of love and a sound mind?

Now that is Fear One. Take it in and ask yourself if you do in fact possess this fear. Simply observe. Do not judge it. Simply observe for now.

We will delve into the ‘plant’ this root system creates in the next newsletter. In the meantime, what can you do to relieve stress and help break these fears up in your body? Answer: Essential Oils in Miracle II Lotion. I call it Four Oils to combat the Four Fears. Harmonic 7, Emovere, Alignment and Stress. Use day and night. Apply one drop to the lotion and smooth over the body, especially the heart center and inhale deeply as you breathe for at least five minutes as you cup your hands over your face.

Until the next time, please say it with me, FEAR IS THE NEW F WORD. With the help of God, I will be able to say out loud, ‘I AM ENOUGH!!!! I don’t need to be more or less, just enough. I don’t need more or less, just enough.’

  Be Whole,
  Sarah Ulmer 

One of the Most amazing people I know is Sarah Ulmer.  She has taught he so much and I am a better person for having her in my life.  So I wanted to share that with you. 

It has taken me a very long time to realize that up until a few months ago I lived in fear.  You have no control over your life if you let fear control you.  A very good friend of mine is a wellness coach.  She brought to my attention that even though I thought I was going in the right direction in my life I was living in fear and not freedom. 

I owe so much to her.  I believe that meeting her a year ago was no accident.  She came into my life at the right time.  I know that if I would have met her before that moment I would not have been ready to listen to her and take the actions I needed to change my life. 

She asked me to join a small group of women from all walks of life that were all looking for answers.  I was not sure what to think at first; but I knew that what I wanted was a happier life.  The life that I was in was very fake.  I had put on an act of being happy for so long that I had started to believe that I really was, when I knew deep down I was not at all. 

The group would last 120 days, broken down into 6 cycles.  Each one to help you with a different aspect of your life.  The next 120 days were going to be a journey I was both very happy and very scared to face.  There were lots of skeletons in my closet that I did not want to deal with.  I had a lot of pain from my past that I had tried to forget.  I thought that if I just did not deal with it that it would go away.  Boy was I wrong.  The fear that  I was living with ended my marriage and was killing me on the inside.  I have learned that if you are not willing to help yourself no one else can help you.  You have to be so feed up that you take the first step. 

After getting divorced last year and coming to the conclusion that life was not going to wait for me.  If I wanted to life a happy fulfilled life I was going to have to jump on the roller coaster and take the ride of my life with no fear and just live my life.  No more fear, face it and put it behind you.  Believe me life can only get better when you stop running from your demons and face them head on. 

I can’t wait to share my amazing journey with you. I can only hope that it helps you to deal with your fears so that you may also live the life you have always wanted.

As a fitness expert, you know I’ll never promise you a pill is going to be the answer to that “jiggle in your wiggle.” If you want six pack abs you’re going to have to work for them.

BUT…

There is some very promising research out there in regards to a dietary supplement you’ve probably been hearing a lot about.

Yes, I’m talking about Essential Fatty Acids. You probably have heard them called something like Fish Oil pills.

How’s this for good news?!

*University of Georgia researchers have found something pretty amazing about  Essential Fatty Acid supplements containing DHA. Get this: The actually help STOP the conversion of pre-fat cells into fat cells by causing them to die out before they can mature.

Once a pre-fat cell becomes a fat cell, well, there’s no turning back. You’ve got that fat cell for life. Imagine, actually decreasing the accumulation of fat by taking an Essential Fatty Acid supplement containing DHA!

Now let me do my best infomercial voice for you…

But wait, there’s more!

Seriously, that’s not the only benefit of Essential Fatty Acid supplements containing DHA.

According to studies** done at the University of South Australia people that combined exercise with Essential Fatty Acid supplements containing DHA saw greater fat loss than the test group that only exercised and did not take the supplement.

How can you not be excited by these research studies??

Now, personally, I don’t like Fish Oil pills because they cause you to burp like crazy. If you’ve ever taken them you know exactly what I mean. And they aren’t always the highest quality.

I prefer EFA Icon from Prograde Nutrition because they use Krill Oil. It’s been found to be a superior source of Essential Fatty Acids containing DHA. Plus, with EFA Icon there are NO fish burps. And I haven’t even mentioned all the amazing health benefits from this dietary supplement.

If you’re looking to accelerate your fat loss results than I really recommend you go with Prograde Nutrition’s EFA Icon.

You can get it here:

http:/kellyluedke.getprograde.com/icon

Yours in rapid fat loss,

PS – Remember, EFA Icon is NOT a miracle solution. You will need sound nutrition and exercise. BUT the research is there. It’s definitely a supplement with powerful fat loss properties.

http:/kellyluedke.getprograde.com/icon
 

* Journal of Nutrition, Vol. 136:2965-2969

My Genuine Encounter with my daughter decorating the Christmas tree.

Have you had your genuine encounter today. 

Adults and children alike need to feel that they are loved.  The need to feel love is very different from being loved.  A person can be loved without feeling it.  Dorothy Briggs in her book Your Child’s Self-Esteem talks about the Genuine Encounter.  A Genuine Encounter is time when you focus all your attention on your child without controlling, correcting, directing, or questioning.  This concept works for everyone not just children.  Everyone has a basic need to feel loved. 

A Genuine Encounter should happen as much as possible.  All you have to do is take 10 – 15 minutes out of your day and put your needs aside to meet the needs of someone else.  The encounters should include listening, eye contact ( to let your child know that you are giving them your undivided attention), nonjudgmental feedback, and encouragement.  These can include just listening to your child talk, playing a game or simply giving a hug.  During this time there should be no cell phones, TVs or any other outside distraction.  This is your time to get into your child’s world and see things from their point of view. 

The value of the Genuine Encounter cannot be overstated when you want to improve a relationship in your life whether that is with a child or an adult.  This very important time gives your child the respect and equality they need to feel rather than the feeling of control and inferiority that they normally feel from their parents.  It is never to late to start as your children get older this is a great way to build a long lasting relationship and it helps to keeps the line of communication open.  Which is very important as your children get to be teenagers. 

Genuine Encounter are also very valuable in strengthening your relationships with the adults in your life.  It is important in relationships for both people to feel equal and respected.  Taking the time to have one on one time with a special person in your life means more than you will ever know.  It may only be 10 minutes to your but it could mean the world to someone who just need to feel loved. 

So make sure to take the time out of your day to give someone you love a Genuine Encounter. 

I went to a divorce-resolutions class this past weekend.  It is required in the state of Florida before your divorce can be final.  The class is meant to teach you how to communicate better with your ex-husband and how to make sure that your child’s needs are being met.  It also gave some great resources to help you with starting new relationship, helping your children with the stress of getting through a divorce, and making sure that your basic needs are being met. 

Everyone has three basic needs that must be met.  They are the need to feel love, the need to feel powerful and the need to feel valuable.  Your need to feel loved comes from the connection you have with others in your life.  Your need to feel valuable comes from the need to feel that you belong and are significant.  Your need to feel powerful should come from the control you have on your own life; not from the control you may feel that you have on someone else. 

If you are in a good place in your life, have good self-esteem and are committed to being and maintaining positive interest both for you and those who are affected by your action these needs are met with positive intentions.   If we choose to be negative these needs are meet with negative intention and we end up hurting ourselves and our loved ones.  It is very easy to use the need to feel powerful in a negative light by putting down others and making them feel inferior.  This does not help anyone and it just make you more and more bitter and it can cause resentment in your children. 

You have to be the role models for your childern and the last thing that you want is for them to see you bitter and angry.  Your children learn from your example.  If not for your sake for their’s you must do your best to be positive and do what you can to make yourself the best person you can be.   

It is very important for you to make sure that your basic needs are being met.  The need for love, value, and power in your life is up to you.  You must also remember that your children also have these needs.  The need for love should always come before the need to feel power.  When the power of love come before the love of power your life will be a much better.

Fiber is an essential part of any healthy diet, yet 9 out of 10 people get less than half of what is recommended daily. It is recommended that women age 19-50 get 25 grams of fiber a day and 50+ to get 30 grams a day. But some adults can’t get the generally recommended 20 to 30 grams of fiber a day from their diet because they don’t like high-fiber foods, or because the foods may cause cramping or flatulence. A fiber supplement can help. According to the Harvard School of Public Health, “fiber appears to reduce the risk of developing various conditions, including heart disease, diabetes, diverticular disease, and constipation”.

Two types of fiber Insoluble vs. Soluble:

Insoluble fiber is like a sponge: it absorbs many times its weight in water, swelling up within the intestine. Insoluble fiber is found mainly in whole grains and on the outside of seeds, fruits, legumes, and other foods. It is best to eat unrefined foods since insoluble fiber is key in promoting more efficient elimination by increasing stool bulk and may alleviate some digestive disorders.

Soluble fiber is found in fruits, vegetables, seeds, brown rice, barley, oats, and oat bran. It can help produce a softer stool, but does less to help the passage of food; rather, it works chemically to prevent or reduce the absorption of certain substances into the bloodstream.

Introducing NuVitae:

The world’s first sparkling citrus drink designed to quench your appetite! ™ Believed by many nutrition experts to be the next major health trend, consuming foods that satisfy the urge to eat, will surpass the success of past dietary crazes such as the Atkins or South Beach phenomena, becoming the new concept embraced by dieters and those looking for a simple and helpful way to naturally eat less.

Drinking NuVitae is an easy way to satisfy your appetite, and help you naturally eat less. Enhanced with 50% of your recommended daily intake (RDI) of fiber (12.5 grams) plus 15 essential vitamins and minerals, the advanced NuVitae Fiberceutical® Drink formula helps support and maintain normal, healthy:

* Appetite and Weight
* Cholesterol Levels within the normal range
* Blood Glucose Levels when used as part of your diet
* Blood Triglyceride Levels
* Intestinal Microflora (prebiotic) and Regularity
* Mineral Absorption

It is a great drink to give you energy and help you to fill full longer. I love it; it has a great citrus flavor. For a free sample click here http://tinyurl.com/nuvitae.

Stretching is important for people of all ages! One of the greatest benefits of stretching is that you’re able to increase your range of motion, which means your limbs and joints can move further before an injury occurs. Post-exercise stretching can also aid in workout recovery, decrease muscle soreness, and ensure that your muscles and tendons are in good working order. The more conditioned your muscles and tendons are, the better they can handle the rigors of sport and exercise, and the less likely that they’ll become injured.

Benefits of stretching: The Why

Regular stretching is a powerful part of any exercise program.

* Stretching increases flexibility. Flexible muscles can improve your daily performance. Tasks such as lifting packages, bending to tie your shoes or hurrying to catch a bus become easier and less tiring.

* Stretching improves range of motion of your joints. Good range of motion keeps you in better balance, which will help keep you mobile and less prone to injury from falls, especially as you age.

* Stretching improves circulation. Stretching increases blood flow to your muscles. Improved circulation can speed recovery after muscle injuries.

* Stretching promotes better posture. Frequent stretching keeps your muscles from getting tight, allowing you to maintain proper posture and minimize aches and pains.

* Stretching can relieve stress. Stretching relaxes the tense muscles that often accompany stress.

* Stretching may help prevent injury. Preparing your muscles and joints for activity can protect you from injury, especially if your muscles or joints are tight.

Stretching essentials: The How

* Target major muscle groups. When you’re stretching, focus on your calves, thighs, hips, lower back, neck and shoulders. Also stretch muscles and joints that you routinely use at work or play.

* Warm up first. Stretching muscles when they’re cold increases your risk of injury, including pulled muscles. Warm up by walking while gently pumping your arms, or do a favorite exercise at low intensity for five minutes. Better yet, stretch after you exercise, when your muscles are warm and more receptive to stretching.

One caveat: If you plan to stretch only after your workout, increase the intensity of the activity more slowly than you would if you had stretched your muscles before exercising.

* Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds. It takes time to lengthen tissues safely. Hold your stretches for at least 30 seconds and up to 60 seconds for a really tight muscle or problem area. That can seem like a long time, so keep an eye on the clock or your watch. Then repeat the stretch on the other side. For most muscle groups, a single stretch is often enough if you hold it long enough.

* Don’t bounce. Bouncing as you stretch can cause small tears in the muscle. These tears leave scar tissue as the muscle heals, which tightens the muscle even further making you less flexible and more prone to pain.

* Stay in a pain-free stretch. Expect to feel tension while you’re stretching. If it hurts, you’ve gone too far. Back off to the point where you don’t feel any pain, then hold the stretch.

* Relax and breathe freely. Don’t hold your breath while you’re stretching.

How often to stretch is up to you: The When

As a general rule, stretch whenever you exercise. If you don’t exercise regularly, you might want to stretch at least three times a week to maintain flexibility. If you have a problem area, such as tightness in the back of your leg, you might want to stretch every day or even twice a day.

Know when to exercise caution

You can stretch anytime, anywhere, in your home, at work or when you’re traveling. If you have a chronic condition or an injury, however, you may need to alter your approach to stretching. For example, if you have a strained muscle, stretching it like usual may cause further harm. Discuss with your doctor or a physical therapist the best way to stretch.